Dotwigzim is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong newt.

Dotwigzim created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotwigzim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dotwigzim, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dotwigzim's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dotwigzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.