Habcunpadspag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful warg.

Habcunpadspag created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habcunpadspag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Habcunpadspag, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Habcunpadspag's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Habcunpadspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never wear mauve coats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never feed figs to badgers while wearing gray skirts.