Bammipmet is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic goat.

Bammipmet created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bammipmet, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bammipmet, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bammipmet's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bammipmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bammipmet's priests.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Bammipmet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Retreat if four pigs approach from the west.

5. Always pray immersed in water.