Fidbugbag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless lizard.

Fidbugbag created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Fidbugbag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fidbugbag, it will turn you into a dog.

Fidbugbag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fidbugbag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Fidbugbag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing yellow ear rings.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not commit murder.