Konstan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omniscient warg.

Konstan created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Konstan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Konstan, it will send you a sign.

Konstan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Konstan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from black great tits for they are unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never look at asteroids.