Tappoglun is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy snail.

Tappoglun created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tappoglun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tappoglun, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tappoglun's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tappoglun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tappoglun.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not commit murder.