Gonhabfed is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered hippopotamus.

Gonhabfed created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonhabfed, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonhabfed, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gonhabfed's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gonhabfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Do not hurt foxes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.