Tagbopmad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient yak.

Tagbopmad created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagbopmad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tagbopmad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tagbopmad's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tagbopmad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing blue trousers and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about dark energy near tapirs while wearing magenta skirts and balancing three silver spheres on your face.