Ruttjanrak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, confident lizard.

Ruttjanrak created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjanrak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ruttjanrak, he will be mildly annoyed.

Ruttjanrak's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ruttjanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Ruttjanrak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Ruttjanrak on top of important buildings.

4. Run away if five pigs approach from the east.

5. Tapirs are not to be trusted.