Dobpaklistwon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful tapir.

Dobpaklistwon created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobpaklistwon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dobpaklistwon, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dobpaklistwon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dobpaklistwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always look after injured horses.