Vollarngig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, benevolent penguin.

Vollarngig created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vollarngig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vollarngig, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vollarngig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vollarngig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing orange corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Run away if six squirrels approach from the north.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Hide if four porpoises approach from the east.