Rilflisxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless hippopotamus.

Rilflisxuc created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rilflisxuc, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rilflisxuc, it will turn you into a rock.

Rilflisxuc's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rilflisxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Rilflisxuc in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if eight badgers approach from the east.

3. Cats are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing mauve boots and balancing nine tin spheres on your feet.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.