Tofmatarf is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, blissful jaguar.

Tofmatarf created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Tofmatarf, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tofmatarf, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tofmatarf's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tofmatarf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise manatees for they are unholy.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Hide if five dogs approach from the south.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill voles.