Gofparkrag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic unicorn.

Gofparkrag created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofparkrag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gofparkrag, he will destroy your home planet.

Gofparkrag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gofparkrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing fawn shirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your back.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Gofparkrag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never leap in the presence of squirrels.