Artxuczag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish cat.

Artxuczag created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artxuczag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Artxuczag, he will strike you with lightening.

Artxuczag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Artxuczag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Artxuczag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed rice to frogs while wearing jumpers.

5. Respect your elders.