Honbigjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented squid.

Honbigjam created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honbigjam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Honbigjam, she will turn you into a tree.

Honbigjam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Honbigjam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six sharks approach from the east.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Learn three new languages a year.