Gemkadloptal is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish narwhal.

Gemkadloptal created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemkadloptal, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemkadloptal, he will turn you into a slug.

Gemkadloptal's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gemkadloptal's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not take Gemkadloptal's name in vain.

5. Hide if three tortoises approach from the east.