Ortbaftaf is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm raven.

Ortbaftaf created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbaftaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortbaftaf, he will turn you into a goat.

Ortbaftaf's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ortbaftaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never paint your feet indigo.

3. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.