Legjankar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humane guinea pig.

Legjankar created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legjankar, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Legjankar, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Legjankar's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Legjankar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Legjankar in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about gravity near snakes while wearing white tights and balancing four platinum spheres on your arms.

3. You must pray to Legjankar nine times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.