Hoggemhug is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciful squid.

Hoggemhug created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggemhug, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hoggemhug, he will turn you into a frog.

Hoggemhug's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hoggemhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snails.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away if five squirrels approach from the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.