Vancunfar is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, able wombat.

Vancunfar created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vancunfar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vancunfar, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vancunfar's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Vancunfar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.