Lanpittim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody guinea pig.

Lanpittim created the Virgo Supercluster seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanpittim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lanpittim, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lanpittim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Lanpittim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five tin sculptures of Lanpittim on top of important buildings.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Never wear indigo kilts.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never go into gray rooms.