Flapvegpas is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, wise ferret.

Flapvegpas created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Flapvegpas, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flapvegpas, he will not invite you to parties.

Flapvegpas' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Flapvegpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.