Yartapstaf is a god.
She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish
octopus.
Yartapstaf created the universe five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Yartapstaf, she will grant you three wishes.
If you do not believe in
Yartapstaf, she will be mildly annoyed.
Yartapstaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.
Yartapstaf's Holy Commandments1. Never write about archaea.
2. Always help moths.
3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.
4. Always stare at clouds.
5. Never look in ponds.