Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered hyena.

Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak, he will turn you into a duck.

Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flatxenlatfenvedgetvinrak.

5. Never hurt birds.