Bellvogwig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome penguin.

Bellvogwig created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellvogwig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bellvogwig, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bellvogwig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bellvogwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Bellvogwig loves tortoises, so they must be respected.