Tapnurtfun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, boastful grasshopper.

Tapnurtfun created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapnurtfun, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tapnurtfun, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tapnurtfun's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tapnurtfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think ill of sick cats.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.