Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable rhinoceros.

Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn, it will turn you into a tree.

Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Midpagmobfudbapgess Larn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Hide if six grasshopers approach from the south.