Tonvidten Farndogdabsog is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, idiotic wren.

Tonvidten Farndogdabsog created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonvidten Farndogdabsog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonvidten Farndogdabsog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tonvidten Farndogdabsog's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tonvidten Farndogdabsog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing yellow coats and balancing nine silver spheres on your face.