Bonkbepmid is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, confident hippopotamus.

Bonkbepmid created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbepmid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonkbepmid, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bonkbepmid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bonkbepmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must never eat turnips.