Talmetarp Gighubpid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, smart monkey.

Talmetarp Gighubpid created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talmetarp Gighubpid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Talmetarp Gighubpid, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Talmetarp Gighubpid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Talmetarp Gighubpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Talmetarp Gighubpid's priests.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.