Sadflismad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish warg.

Sadflismad created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadflismad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sadflismad, it will turn you into a rock.

Sadflismad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sadflismad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to horses while wearing pink coats.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help eagles in need.