Canarpflabnak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, tiresome cat.

Canarpflabnak created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Canarpflabnak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Canarpflabnak, she will throw large rocks at you.

Canarpflabnak's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Canarpflabnak's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Worship no other gods but Canarpflabnak.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.