Quamladquim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unjust pig.

Quamladquim created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamladquim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quamladquim, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Quamladquim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quamladquim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo foxes for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Quamladquim's name in vain.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Never pour water over plants.