Funbessaf is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, loving dove.

Funbessaf created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Funbessaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Funbessaf, she will turn you into a slug.

Funbessaf's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Funbessaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed gooseberries to pigs while wearing indigo hats.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Feed all hungry bats.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Funbessaf in the centre of the settlement.