Tonloopjadflis is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fast scorpion.

Tonloopjadflis created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonloopjadflis, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonloopjadflis, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tonloopjadflis' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tonloopjadflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about pigs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.