Nigsaftim is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent jellyfish.

Nigsaftim created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigsaftim, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nigsaftim, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nigsaftim's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nigsaftim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near voles.

2. Nigsaftim loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help sick birds.

4. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing white rings and balancing three zinc spheres on your chest.