Gemstigleg is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless weasel.

Gemstigleg created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gemstigleg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gemstigleg, he will turn you into a goat.

Gemstigleg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gemstigleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never wear pink shirts.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.