Wodjamgil Konflowtik is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional guinea pig.

Wodjamgil Konflowtik created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodjamgil Konflowtik, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wodjamgil Konflowtik, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Wodjamgil Konflowtik's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wodjamgil Konflowtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never laugh in the presence of horses.