Nurlbumnut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, thoughtless hippopotamus.

Nurlbumnut created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbumnut, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurlbumnut, it will turn you into a mole.

Nurlbumnut's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nurlbumnut's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Hide from brown birds for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing violet ear rings.