Laghamwip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, loving bird.

Laghamwip created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghamwip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Laghamwip, he will cry a lot.

Laghamwip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Laghamwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never think about dark matter.