Vogpomfut is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional octopus.

Vogpomfut created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogpomfut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vogpomfut, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vogpomfut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vogpomfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Vogpomfut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always stare at clouds.