Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless giraffe.

Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut, it will turn you into a slug.

Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Kadmegkomjinyarbafnarlfut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Never eat bark.