Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive cat.

Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad, he will turn you into a snail.

Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Timtarphinfat Yogvegjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide from violet badgers for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.