Gupzakman is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise guinea pig.

Gupzakman created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupzakman, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gupzakman, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gupzakman's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gupzakman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never paint your arms black.

3. You must pray to Gupzakman nine times a day.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing cyan hats and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

5. Put Gupzakman first in all things.