Wigcembon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, emotional faun.

Wigcembon created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wigcembon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigcembon, she will curse you with boils.

Wigcembon's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Wigcembon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Wigcembon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near bats while wearing violet rings.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.