Liphathud Ganbamkap is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish scorpion.

Liphathud Ganbamkap created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Liphathud Ganbamkap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Liphathud Ganbamkap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Liphathud Ganbamkap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Liphathud Ganbamkap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never wear red corsets.

5. Pray towards the east.