Vabmadrat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish guinea pig.

Vabmadrat created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Vabmadrat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vabmadrat, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Vabmadrat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vabmadrat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vabmadrat.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Respect your elders.