Bigjappig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, slow jellyfish.

Bigjappig created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigjappig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bigjappig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bigjappig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bigjappig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hop near sharks.

5. Moths are not to be trusted.