App is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciless porpoise.

App created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in App, he will not care.

If you do not believe in App, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

App's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

App's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Never feed peas to rats while wearing rings.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.